too thin to exist

Sometimes I spread myself too thin to a vanishing point. I divide into these particles that constitute air. I become transparent to many even to myself. That is my exit strategy when overwhelmed by endless tasks.

I would rather put up with suffering transparency when commitment knocks my door.

I would rather (drink) wine by my familiar self than succumb to thine.   

Mess

My house is a mess, it cannot accept any visitors. Same for my heart. Whoever messed up my heart had hers messed up by another victim ad infinitum. Therefore, I cannot blame anyone but my own lavish passion and restless curiosity, and I can do nothing about it as time proves more and more to me that it is irreversible.