Volatile memory extension nostalgic excitement and freedom price inflation

Yesterday, I had a skype call with a good friend, who is reading this today. He mentioned me citing a quote in this blog, but having forgotten about it, I came back looking for it and checking the context in which it was placed. It is not surprising that I have forgotten all about it since I write to forget. In fact, writing is analogous to freeing your volatile memory since you can always refer to an extended memory to chase down your fleeting ideas and develop them at later stages. But it happens that the extended memory at hand is an ephemeral blog of volatile properties and decentralized servers in unknown locations. The only alternative of quasi-ancient pen-and-paper writing techniques require tremendous amounts of indexing and localization that are costly and can only be stored in our volatile biological memory which beats the purpose. One of the fleeting ideas I could vaguely remember from yesterday's volatile conversation can be exampled by the following observation:

I have very much enjoyed my skype conversation yesterday which makes me wonder why was it not something I desired or demanded? Why is it not something I have anticipated with huge joy and high expectations knowing it is with a good friend I have not chatted for a while? How much must I have been betrayed by my expectations and my fluctuating mood that I have given up on anticipation, looking forward and projection? Is the very awareness of these factors a curse or the absence of unknown factors a blessing? Have I reached a certain point of involuntarily suppressing excitement fearing it will be followed by disappointment? Similarly, I have a wonderful thanksgiving dinner last week which brought back great memories from my past 8 years in the USA. I even dared highering my expectations and anticipating that thanksgiving dinner even though I did not know the host or most of the invitees. I then wondered whether I should seek more expats to revive the good old days.


Another fleeting idea concerns freedom that often comes at a high price, not only the price for owning it but also for maintaining it. When free one is paradoxically more a slave of whatever fears he has of loosing this freedom. The price for freedom has been inflated such that all can access it even if for a flavour of freedom or a mere sense of fake freedom. The market is overwhelmed with a myriad of freedom products that are all demanded and consumed. Many live in the deception of freedom often symbolized by a big mansion, life insurance... but rarely are the conditions of mortgage or the quality of life questioned.   Is freedom of fear the ultimate of all freedoms? How can one master it? Is the fear of freedom the very opposite of freedom?

This has been a GREAT year

This has been a GREAT year.

Indeed, so great I am not looking forward to bid it farewell tonight.

This has been a GREAT year on so many levels.

On a professional level, I "survived" a long PhD roller-coaster and accepted a postdoctoral position in Paris, where life is promising and the morrows are bright.
On an artistic level, I had two successful exhibitions, one in the States and another in Paris. Needless to mention the crazy photoshoots and the 1001 faces project that will be completed and announced next year.
On a soul-searching level, I traveled for more than 4 months in 4 continents to finally find a couple of places to accommodate my restless soul, arts and science -- a place that welcomes both sides of the brain and all races, backgrounds and beliefs. The US and its folks will always be remembered and missed.
On a soul-union level, I was reunited with family and good friends and it feels so great to spend time with them.

This has been a GREAT year.

It will be hard to beat it by the years to come. However, if there is something I learned from the previous years it is that life can be lived by the imposed social norms and traditions but much more so when these limits are pushed and redefined. So I invite you all to have a dream if you do not already and dare pursue it till the very end. Otherwise, do what you are best at until your vision becomes clear. Do not let others tell you what is impossible. Associate with positive people and dissociate with the rest.

This has been a GREAT year.

Thank you all for contributing to its success. I hope to be seeing more of you this year.

This has been a GREAT year.

I hope the same for you and wish you GREATER forthcoming years of joy and success.

PS. I made a calendar  based on my photography exhibit in Paris, "Couleurs de mes Voyages" if interested in marking it with splendid days and traveling each month to memorable places.

Happy Birthday

CAVEAT LECTOR: May the clarification in this post about the pointlessness of birthdays and similar celebrations not be confused with my sincere wishes of happiness for everyone.

A couple of weeks are to determine whether I make it to the 29th year of a debatable nonexistence. Worse, a nonexistence that is perfectly perceptive and requires food and therefore a job... Perhaps I would have celebrated my 10th or 15th birthday unawarely, but celebrating my 29th seems ironic and pointless. I am not at all debating one's life quality, one's mere survival of another year, or one's nearing the last days of what he or she might consider a wasted life, for all these arguments can be flawed epistemologically. I am arguing about a more rudimentary philosophical savoir-vivre question...

Why should your birthday be any more special than the remaining days of your life? Doesn't this very expectation impose monotony and boredom on the remaining 364 days you were not born on? Can't you have a daily blast or more ad libitum? Your friends, that have received 100 birthday notifications from 50 social networks you are both on, to wish you that "happy birthday" or a minute variation thereof, are they truly thoughtful and sincere. If you're rather judging them based on their gift, have you thought of the non-materialistic, poor or tasteless friends with good intentions? And what about the gloomy ones that are neither faking a smile nor planning to ruin your special day of the year? Therefore, I wholeheartedly vote for abolishing birthday celebrations after one gains full consciousness.

I am not bothered by people celebrating their birthdays, on the contrary, if that makes them happy. However, I find myself often confused by their expectations, especially from the invited guests and the dynamics in between... I wouldn't call myself socially inept but I can't help laughing at bad jokes or smiling to cliche, especially when repeated incessantly by an interdepartmental social group or an intimate click with cryptic nerdy inside jokes. Therefore, with that I conclude that I am not anti-social nor am I a misanthrope.

In fact, when I last turned 27 or 28, I was overwhelmed with all the generic birthday wishes that I was never able to reciprocate. Initially, I felt obligated to respond thanking each and every thoughtful though inconsiderate soul that left a mark on my virtual facebook wall. I felt guilty for never using neither facebook nor other means for casting birthday wishes... I felt bad just because I like to wish my friends and family a happy (even glorious) day every single day and not once every year. I wish to share with them special moments whenever possible, not whenever convenient.

Have a wonderful day!